“In marriage, you love a lot and forgive a lot. Love is the lubricant!”
Master Choa Kok Sui
Marriage, a union of two souls as popularly believed, is one of the most important events in anybody’s life. The meaning and motivation of getting married may vary from person to person, but most of us do end up getting hooked in either societal pressures or personal interests. In spiritual context marriage is believed to be a stepping stone of one’s life. It’s not a mere added relationship but a bundle of relationships, it’s not just a union of body but two spiritual seekers aspiring for nirvana.
When two different people embark a new journey of life together, the paths often meet but seldom they collide.
A marriage is more than fulfilment of physical needs, it’s a journey within. The very purpose of getting married is so vague that we are seeing broken marriages like never before. Firstly, the motivation behind getting married must be very clear when, one thinks he/she can embrace the change with open arms then alone should one get married, not under societal pressure, not by getting carried away with the frenzy of grand celebration but with understanding of one’s life purpose and well-thought consequences of same. An ideal way to look upto a married life could be an ever self-introspection institution.
1- All the Advice / Wise Words Don’t Really Make any Sense: Every couple differs, every marriage is unique, hence, all the advices you get from other couples don’t really apply when you need the one. Also, if you try to make your marriage work on someone else’s rule book our probably will ruin the beauty of your marriage.
Some lessons are meant to be practical & are better learnt that way.
2- Love Isn’t Enough: Yes, you heard it right, love isn’t enough. Love undoubtedly, is the best ingredient in life but in real life, love stories begin post marriage not before that. A successful marriage demands lot more than just love.
3- Forgive & Forget: One of the best ways to live peacefully is to forgive. Now forgiveness is tricky when, you forgive others it’s very important that you also forget and don’t bear the grudge. The negativity blocks created by this grudge extremely fatal for any relationship.
4- Don’t Expect: Most of the times in our lives, we ourselves create the problems that never existed. Perhaps the root cause of this is our unrealistic expectations from life, and people.
5- Discuss: Don’t jump into any decision, without discussing it with your partner.
6- It’s not Yours or Mine, It’s Ours: Drop the self-centered attitude.
7- Respect is more Important than Love: It has been observed that a marriage laid on foundation of respect & maturity is much stronger than the one laid on unrealistic love & expectations. Respect your partner, and everything belonging to him/her.
8- Independence & Individuality: Independence is the most debatable concept in regards of marriage. By merely earning one cant consider oneself to be independent, and by merely not earning one isn’t totally dependent. Marriage is a union of two souls; it’s not a race to prove oneself better in comparison to ones partner. A house maker shouldn’t be considered dependant, she carries her individuality that completes her husband and his family. A working woman can’t be considered independent just because she is earning. Both women behold their distinctive individuality.
9- A little Space Makes Space for Lasting Bonds: Often over-protective partners make their spouse feel suffocated. Like a home needs window, any relationship needs a little space. Just as windows make way for fresh air to enter, a little space keeps a relationship young by adding vitality to it.
10- Work on a Same Goal: You might belong to different professions and area of work; find one thing which you both love. It might be some recreational activity or an interest. When two people share things in common and work on attaining that together their path can never diverge. In spirituality, it is believed that two people come together husband and wife to fulfil their needs together, and embark on the path of spirituality to attain the ultimate goal of Nirvana.